the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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