she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
