i just had sex bonerless
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
