I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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