Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She bit a glass in half.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
