...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
