I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It's official drugs can't kill me
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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