Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"