Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Randomize
Follow @tfln