OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize