Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
