Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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