Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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