My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
