he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
