my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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