just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
