I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
