So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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