his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
