so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
