yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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