I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
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I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
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Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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