Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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