can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
