He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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