she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
