Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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