we made out on top of his cat.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
