masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize