the day after is always just damage control
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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