could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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