I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
