hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
