physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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