people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
