Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
