i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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