if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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