I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
