I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
