He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
