I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
