worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Randomize
