Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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