i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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