We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
