Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Welp...herpes.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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