Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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