Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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