Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
