Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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