I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Holy shit dude........stairs
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
