There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
