those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
