I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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