do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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