he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
