I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
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