his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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