apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just cut my nipple shaving
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The beers last night were like the tears from god
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
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