hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
