Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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