Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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