I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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