Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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